Non-verbal communication

Although statistics vary, it is thought that up to 80% of what is communicated in any interaction is done so non-verbally. Non-verbal communication is a way in which humans tell each other how we are thinking or feeling by a body movement, which is recognised and understood by someone else. There are three main forms of non-verbal communication, which are:

• Facial expressions
• Body language
• Personal space

Facial expressions

This is a method of communication that uses the movement of muscles in the face in order to convey a message, such as using the lips to smile and show happiness and the eyebrows to question something. Several facial expressions are thought to be universal and understood by everyone in the world, regardless of their culture, which are:

• Surprise
• Happiness
• Sadness
• Fear
• Disgust
• Anger

It is sometimes possible to change a facial expression to disguise what is really being felt but many facial expressions will happen automatically and will reveal a person’s true feelings. For example, if several people were all in a room together and suddenly a brick came through the window, it is very likely that everyone would show the same facial expression of surprise at the initial shock of the event.

Eye contact is a big part of facial expression, as it shows to other people that we are interested in what they say. Although this does differ in some cultures, largely speaking, a lack of eye contact shows disinterest or possibly even boredom.

Lack of eye contact is also thought to indicate that someone may be guilty or lying or that they like the other person but do not want them to see this – non-verbal communication can be difficult to interpret sometimes!

Eye movement can also reveal a lot about how someone is feeling; think of the expression, ‘if looks could kill’ or ‘his eyes bore a hole into me’, which mean that someone was very angry or that someone was attracted to someone else respectively.

Body language

This involves communication by physical movement of the body, such as pointing or turning your back on someone. These are known generally as gestures and postures.

Gestures are signals sent by the body – an action to someone who is near to the person who is sending it that says something about how the individual is feeling. However, it is important to remember that with body language, what an onlooker perceives from someone is not necessarily the message that they were meant to send, or someone can misinterpret the gesture if they do not have all of the information.

For example, if someone points their finger in your face, this is usually meant as an aggressive gesture and to someone watching this would almost certainly look the case. However, being unable to hear someone say, “you have something on your nose!” and this is the reason why the person is pointing, means that the gesture is completely misinterpreted. Similarly, if someone were sitting with their head in their hands, this would likely be perceived, most of the time, to mean they are fed up or bored. However, the person could be thinking about something or they might just be looking down at the floor.

Some gestures are subject to cultural interpretation and do not mean the same thing universally – we will look at this at the end of this section.

Technical gestures are those which have been invented for a purpose and which have meaning that will be understood, give or take some level of variation, in many cultures. For example, police direct traffic using specific gestures and almost all cultures will have some form of gesture to mean that they are ‘stupid’ or ‘bored’.

Coded gestures are those which are used in sign language such as British Sign Language or Makaton. These are very special types of gesture which have to be learnt in order to be able to interact in a specific way, such as with someone who is deaf or hard of hearing or someone who has learning disabilities.

Postures are messages which are sent from the person’s body. They show other people how we are feeling by use of the stance we adopt or the way in which we move our bodies. For example, we may sit with our arms folded to show we are uncomfortable or defensive or we might turn away from someone who we don’t want to speak to or who we don’t really like.

Use of the head is also a posture and so we can convey messages such as “I am interested in what you are saying” by leaning our heads forwards when someone is speaking or tilting our heads to the side when we are no quite sure of something.

Personal space

This involves putting a specific distance between yourself and another person in order to communicate a message and to feel comfortable; there are certain distances from one person to another which are considered to be acceptable, dependent upon the situation – this is known as proxemics.

For example, the following distances are thought to apply to the space around someone:

• Intimate space – 1.5ft around someone, where a partner might stand without making the person feel uncomfortable
• Personal space – 4ft around someone, where a friend might stand but not a stranger
• Social space – 9ft around someone where strangers stand without being ‘too close for comfort’. (Beyond this there is a public space where you would stand away from people, if perhaps giving a speech.)

When these spaces are breached, individuals may feel uncomfortable or even vulnerable; imagine if a stranger came to ask you something and stood in the intimate space around you or your partner stood in the social space – what messages would you receive from that? Possibly that the stranger had no idea about social etiquette or possibly that he or she was going to threaten you, and you might imply from your partner that they are annoyed with you.

Proxemics are something that most humans can apply automatically; most of us would not dream of standing in touching distance of a stranger because we are aware of how this would make someone else feel. However, some people cannot judge this; how many times have you heard someone say, “they were in my personal space!” or “they were standing so close, it made me really uncomfortable!”

Cultural differences in non-verbal communication

There are significant differences or variations in some kinds of body language in different cultures. For example, the way in which people greet each other varies dramatically; in the UK we may shake hands or hug someone who we know well. In France, however, it is normal for people to kiss each other’s cheeks three times when saying hello and goodbye. In complete contrast to this, a woman in an Arabic country such as Saudi Arabia must have no body contact at all when greeting someone.

Other examples of cultural variations in non-verbal communication include:

• A thumbs up sign means ‘good’ in most cultures, but in Nigeria, Iran and Australia this is a very rude gesture
• A circle with three fingers raised means ‘perfect’ or ‘everything is fine’ in most cultures, but in Malta, Greece and Brazil this is an obscene gesture, and in Japan it means ‘money’
• In Africa, Japan and Latin American countries, prolonged eye contact is considered rude and should be avoided
• In some cultures, smiling a lot is not a sign of happiness but of being mentally ill

Cultural differences in non-verbal communication raise some interesting questions about how it is learnt. Some researchers argue that humans are innately programmed to use non-verbal communication but if this were the case then all non-verbal communication would be the same. Those researchers who argue that non-verbal communication is learnt, point to the fact that cultural differences reflect this because someone raised in a Western culture, for example, has different ways of expressing themselves non-verbally than someone in a non-Western culture.